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Are we at Tallinn Life the sort of sad and pathetic people who will milk a nation’s genetic make-up and a tired stereotype in order to get a few cheap laughs? Damn right we are! Having trawled (...and believe us, it was like sifting for gold in Lake Ulemiste with a collander!) the internet for Blonde Jokes we 'proudly' present the best of the worst.
Feel free to impress your mates by reeling one out whenever your distinct lack of social skills threatens to create an embarrassing pause in the conversation.
Above: Remember never to leave your laptop in a blonde's bathroom!
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduce herself.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.
Q: Why don’t blondes read Shakespeare?
A: They don’t know who wrote it.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champion.
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
…and if you really do have too much time on your hands, here are some longer ones:
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said: "I can't take this, you're my friend." But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then the redhead said: "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again."
There were three women, a brunette, a red head, and a blonde. They all worked together at an office. Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The red head went home to get in a quick workout before her dinner date. The blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opened the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the brunette and the red head are talking about going home early again. They ask the blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught."
| | | |
 | | "Well, I'm a natural platinum blonde because I come from a Scandinavian background. I don't really care how blondes are stereotyped, because in the end, everyone knows that intellect isn't dependant on hair colour. There are just girls who think it's cool to 'dumb themselves down' because they think guys will like them better, it's sad and it happens amongst brunettes too.
" | Danish Blonde
Australia
Jan.11.2010
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "I am blond (natural, not bleached) and and we are SO not dumb..most blonds fake being dumb to "Look cute". And blonds are hotter than other colors because we have fair skin and beautiful features! TEEHEE!! Haven't y'all heard Brunettes are boring and Blonds have more fun! :D" | Blondie
United Kingdom
Dec.19.2009
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "These jokes are mildly funny. I am a natural brunette whose been dying her hair blonde for a few years. It 'suits me'. Anyway, for all you claiming to be smart, maybe you should have paid more attention in ENGLISH CLASS. This is NOT a topic to use chatspeak. I mean, it is kind of difficult for people to believe that you are smart 'wen u talk lik dis' you just seem ignorant. Thank you." | Grammar check
United States
Sep.14.2009
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "I'm a true blonde! :D
I loved the jokes teehee x
i have to admit i didn't get some of them lol :S :D
But wen i eventually did, i laughed lds :D
Yep, we can be smart when we wana be, bt to tell you the truth; it's just too much effort. So we stick 2 being dumb :P :D Love the Jokes
Bunny Boo x x
" | Bunny Boo x
United States
May.13.2009
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "these jokes are ok" | none
United States
May.02.2009
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "ay gurl are you sure your not blond cause you spelled weiner wrong " | Brandi
United States
May.01.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "heya guys i thnk some of these jokes are reli kwl en hay chris i may take you as a bf neva knw...blondes RULE mwa bi bi" | kitty frichre
South Africa
Apr.24.2009
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can understand them.
I find it kind of funny that the vast majority of the self-proclaimed 'smart' brunette commenters have such terrible spelling. Oh, the irony!
Cute jokes, though! " | University Blonde
Canada
Apr.21.2009
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "blow me" |
United States
Apr.21.2009
rates this page 3/5
|
| | "yeh me is blend an i ffink fey aer ferry swart(full stop)fey aer ze smarts pople on fis flat earth(full stop)" | blondes are os kool
United States
Apr.21.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "blondes are stupid and cute i dont mind having a blonde as a friend but not as workmate. now heres my rhyme: blondes are stupid blondes are gay and i can say this everyday." | blondes are cute but stupid
Guatemala
Apr.21.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "HAHA the first long one is hilarious!!" | person
United States
Apr.17.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "was the boss a guy or girl?" | xerex
United States
Apr.16.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "uh, i can do WH4t3v3r i want, k? k. and i wasnt trying.thanks.and brunetttes rock." | N3$$4
United States
Apr.14.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "wuz up fellas blondes rock da houseizes" | wowza
Cameroon
Apr.14.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "tu ehy rin il que
" | hwjgdiuewbdlcjxb
Yemen
Apr.14.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "dont go N3$$4 UR COOL...US BRUNETTES HAVE TO STAY TOGETHER!!" | hey 101
United States
Apr.14.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "uhhh idk what this is but brunettes rock,kbye." | N3$$4
Zimbabwe
Apr.14.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "haha these are hilarious!!
Brunettes r the best though!
" | brunette peeps
United States
Apr.14.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "hey chris...u r disgusting and a freakin perv...get a life...
GO BRUNNETTES" | brunnett chica
United States
Apr.14.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "yes the jokes are funny but some of your commites are rude to blondes." | victoria:D
Canada
Apr.12.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "People need to chill out abit. A joke is a joke, people need to learn to laugh at themselves sometimes. Its a silly stereotype that blondes are dumb, but these jokes arn't specifically aiming to offend.
I'm blonde, I have three A levels in Maths, Chemistry and Biology. That throughs the stereotype but I can still laugh at blonde jokes as I know they ae not specifically aimed at me or any indevidual for that fact!" | Antonia (Blonde!!)
United Kingdom
Apr.07.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "im blonde and....well some of these i didnt get,im sorry im just not as smart as some people...but the ones that i did get are funny!" | Blonde and proud of it
United States
Apr.06.2009
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "i fu##### love blondes their hot and the jokes are funny" | jordan
United States
Apr.01.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "Blondes and ESPECIALLY reds are HOT.
The meanies who joke are NOT." | Hannah
Algeria
Mar.30.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Blondes are JUST AS CLEVER, PRETTY AND NICE AS ANYONE ELSE.
I'm a redhead personaly so don't make fun of us either!" | Stacey
United Kingdom
Mar.30.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Tbh, people need to relax about these jokes, im naturally platinum blonde and i know its not true that blondes are stupid, just learn to laugh (:" | SarahMoorex3
United Kingdom
Mar.25.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "these jokes were exelent and i would love 2 c more" | philip
South Africa
Mar.25.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "ok look i have probably had the hardest time with blonde jokes and these are FUNNY!!!!!!!" | kanbby
United States
Mar.24.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "i dont get any of them
theyr confusing :S" | Blondey
United Kingdom
Mar.23.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "that blond is a lier..your all liers!!!!" | joeblowho
Algeria
Mar.20.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "do you get "straight As" in school or "staight As" as the Blonde on 17 March wants us to believe?" | dave 1
Nigeria
Mar.19.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "First of all these blonde jokes aren't funny but they are discriminating. Not all blondes are retarded. I'm a blonde and most of my family and friends think i'm smart due to staight A's all in school. " |
United States
Mar.17.2009
rates this page 1/5
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| | "can be be inprobed not that funny" | sexy123
United States
Mar.16.2009
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "these need tuning" | justice
United States
Mar.16.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "lol they are really funny jokes but i think you should have more" | Brittnee beca
Australia
Feb.24.2009
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "Those of you who are critizing Emily for saying the "dead hair particles and smartness," thing you should because even though she is blonde she happens to be right about it, and she has a point...looked it up and it is true...but what is blonde about it...the way she said it, not what she said...thats what makes a blonde, blonde..." | myka3
United States
Feb.21.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "first of all, I think that you are all funny idiot who have no life...Second some brunettes would do themselves a favour to die their hair blonde no matter how bad it works because it just suites them...but are blonde like realy that dumb...I mean is their like anything wrong with clarifying information (haha blonde moment)blondes my seem to do dumb things, but dumb people are not stupid they are curious ppl, stupid is like retarded...as such ppl who do dumb things are smart for taking risk...blonde minds might seem dumb at times...but it is the mind of the blonde becomes famous...like ablert einstein was like suppose to be retarded because he couldnt read, but invented quantum physics...my point being that those who are dumb are genius...and those are lik well i dont know are just stupid regardless of being blonde." | Myka
United States
Feb.21.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "I love blonde jokes, if they are not too mean spirited. I have to admit that of all the girls and women I have admired the most, two thirds were...blondes! Claudia Schiffer RULES!" | Carl C
United States
Feb.16.2009
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "I absolutely love blonde jokes because they are true. I loved these jokes but some I read ina joke book... is someone copying them." | Frazzie-the-boy
United Kingdom
Feb.12.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "excuse me but some blondes are actully smart such as me. maybe not all the time but hey, who is perfect.
But I LOVE blonde jokes :)" | Amity
Australia
Feb.08.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "The smartest person I have ever met is a blonde. My very good brunette friend asked where the Boston massacre was. Another brunette thinks she lives in a giant bucket. No joke. She's not special, just dumb. " | Blonde Betty
United States
Feb.06.2009
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "i think its funny but im a blonde so
lol" | lol 989685 lol
United States
Feb.04.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "go brunettes" | brown hair
United States
Jan.28.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "go blondes! We r not as stupid as we seem! lol
i mean they r just jokes get a grip!" | blondie5
Zaire
Jan.24.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "people r saying that lots of brunettes r dying their hair blonde but i know many people including stars that r dying their hair brown cause its hotter and gives of a better impression. Also people r saying that brunettes stole the blonde phrase-we have more fun but really it depends on the person. blondes actually tend to sometimes be boring or mean people cause they think they are better-which clearly they r not-we r all equal and if u dont think that than ur just ignorant." | brunetteperson101
United States
Jan.24.2009
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "why do they make these jokes about blondes-half of us aren't dumb and party. brunettes prob party more than us and get more guys. not all blondes are pretty and love pink and do what the steriotype says we do! im dying my hair brown cause i think its hotter! also it makes u look thinner! lol GO BRUNETTES-although blondes are awesome too! haha" | sillytart971
Antigua & Barbuda
Jan.24.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "brunnets hav more of a life cause while the blondes r bleaching their hair the brunetts r partying and still getting straight A's, so all u blondes who think ur cool cause u might be the cheer captian- at leats we dont die our hair and pretend to do splits" | brunett168
United States
Jan.24.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "I don't think that this is very fair. because i am a blonde aand i am not stupid. there are tons of smart blondes. and why do you have to call it blonde jokes why not red head jokes or burnett jokes. becuse thats just mean" | Torrey
United States
Jan.17.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "funny stuff lol its crazy how blonds take it to heart tho it must really hurt their feelings" | kota
United Kingdom
Jan.16.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "omg im that kinda blonde.. and didnt get some of those jokes they were still super funny :-p" |
United States
Jan.14.2009
rates this page 5/5
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| | "not funny" | blond man
United States
Jan.13.2009
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "haha wow guys these r really funny! and yeah alot of these are true!!! alot of people do these things but blondes(like me haha) tend to do them more... like all the time!! haha " | CHS blondiee!
United States
Jan.13.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Hahaha...i love blonde jokes. theyr hilairous. i think the main reason i dont get offended by them is because i know im not that dumb, and when i do have my "moments" i can laugh at myself and not be embarrassed lol
i thikn its ridiculous how everyones arguing over this. i love reading thoruhg al the rude comments and randomly finding one thats like "haha i love blonde jokes"" | blondnesss
Zimbabwe
Jan.11.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "
Blondes may have more fun but brunettes remember it the next day" | Lana
United Kingdom
Jan.10.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "stop talking bad about me. i try my hardest. and that stuff only happened once" | Jena
United States
Jan.09.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "Okay i know they're bad but do you kno Y!!!! brunettes make up blonde jokes?
Because while the blondes are out with all the boyz the brunettes have nothing better to do!!! haha no but seriously some blondes are stupid but so re some red heads and brunettes and blacks so, who cares brunettes have no life blondes do, haha " | Vanessa Marshall
United States
Jan.06.2009
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "I am a blonde. At my high school i am the cheerleading captin and everyone luvs me! So dont hate brunettes and red heads appreciate! guess what guys like us more becuz we dont search blonde jokes for no reason and then comment on how blondes are stupid! HATERS!!!!!!!!" | blonde
United States
Jan.01.2009
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Hey i am a blonde and all you red heads and brunettes are haters!!!!!!!!!!! Blondes have more fun!" | Kelli
United States
Jan.01.2009
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "are blondes brains really that clumsy?" | szhadeh
Zambia
Dec.30.2008
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "LOL!! Good jokes guys, I really enjoyed that!!" | Helena
South Africa
Dec.30.2008
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "ok, listen. all blondes r not dumb. im blonde but you shouldnt take a blonde joke so much to heart. everyone has a dumb moment at one point in time. just like "little johny" jokes, not every one named Johny isnt pissed off! wtf ppl. u need to get over getting offended by everything and just have a laugh!" | milly
United States
Dec.16.2008
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "Lol, even if not all blondes are dumb we need SOMEONE to make the jokes about. We can just go "the dumb person almost got caught" we have to have someone. Just Get the **** over it!! " | Claire
United States
Nov.04.2008
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "hahaha really funny and im the biggest blonde too lol literally i love being blonde and guys dont seem to mind either so i dont get offened be jealousy jokes =)" | BLONDEandHOT
United States
Nov.04.2008
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "The blondes posting on this comment page are reinforcing their stereotype." | vand
United States
Mar.01.2008
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "Really good jokes,
In response to Emily, most blonde jokes are based on bleached blondes, chicks who think that hair color will make them hotter; It's a shame really, brunettes are the hottest" | A.J.
United States
Mar.01.2008
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "some of those jokes are very funny ,but some so not make sense!!!" | Thumper
Canada
Feb.17.2008
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "wow blondes can do stupid things somethimes but they are all not stupid. my girlfriend is blonde and shes not stupid. i dont care about the jokes but sterio typing all blondes to be stupid is wrong" | blondes are funny
United States
Dec.28.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "OMG! those jokes are so funny.
i showed my friends and they read them all abpout 10 times. and are still laughing when i speak about them!
Thanx!" | .B.E.N.
Australia
Dec.15.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "Dear Blonde,
You say that Harvard and all those other places wanted you. For what, sure in the heck wasn't for your spelling because sweetie you sure can't spell. You need to come back to reality, take a look in the mirror and get over yourself. I don't really care what color your hair is if you are gonna talk smack at least know what you are talking about. Now that's dumb!!!!" | none ya
United States
Dec.15.2007
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "here is another joke:
A blond is walking down the street when she sees a tv she really wants to buy.So she askes the sales man how much it is and he said," Sorry. We dont sell to dumb blonds. That night she went home and died her hair red. The next day she asked the sales man the same thing.And again he said," Sorry. we dont sell to dumb blonds. She went home and died her hair black and went back the next dayand asked again. the sales man said the same thing so she dies her hair beown and asked again. Still, the sales man repeated," We dont sell to dumb Blonds!!!" Then the blond said," How do u know I'm blond? I went home and died my hair 3 times! Why cant i buy that tv?" Then the sales man said," Because! Its an oven!"" | Alex
United States
Dec.15.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "oh my gosh... blondes are not that stupid at all. if a blonde caught any guy doin the dirty with her boss she would slap him around. I'm blonde and have gotten through life pretty well so far, not cause of my hair. your hair is just dead skin cells... how would that determine how smart you are? brunettes personally are sluttier and only THINK they have more fun, cause the blondes have more fun saying was made first.. geez brunettes, get your own saying. don't take others. anywayss though hair COLOR doesn't matter! stupidsss people can easily change it anyways." | Emily
United States
Dec.15.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "im blonde.. bu thats mean" | kelsy
Canada
Dec.15.2007
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "BLONDS CAN BE SO STUPID SOME TIMES,AND I SHOULD KNOW MY SISTERS BLOND" | CHARLES
Costa Rica
Dec.14.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "A Blond walks in to the Library "I'd like a burger and fries please" she says,
"Miss this is a Library" the librarian replies.
*whispers* "Sorry i would like burgers and fries please"" | Simcha
United States
Dec.12.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
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